Whenever I remember to stop trying to have time, and instead focus on having worthwhile intentions, time seems more abundant. It seems to show up as needed when I’ve got a good intention going.

This makes sense, because the feeling of not having enough time doesn’t come from not having enough time. It can’t, because you always have zero time. It comes from the pain of valuing wishes and hopes over intentions, and what happens to you over who you are.

Every time I post a new behavioral experiment, or share a personal resolution of some kind, I get a few emails telling me not to be so strict with myself.

They always say something like “It’s not good to be so hard on yourself!” or “We shouldn’t be forcing ourselves to do things!”

This is a common thing to hear in our improvement-focused culture. I used to think it was a reasonable caution, but now I think it’s generally bad advice.

It seems well-meaning in most cases—people sometimes do go overboard with exercise, frugality, and personal efficiency. But I think it’s much more common for people to go under-board in some or all of those areas, and you can bet the person giving you a hard time is one of them.

We often hear about the importance of “balance” in our self-improvement efforts. But what exactly are we balancing? Good behaviors and bad ones? Are we looking for lives that are equal parts wisdom and recklessness?

Can you imagine someone saying “I don’t think we should force ourselves to brush our teeth every day. You have to live a little!”

Experiment 5

Goal: Go 21 straight days without complaining or uttering non-constructive criticism. (If I catch myself doing it, I must start again at day zero.)

This was inspired by Will Bowen’s book A Complaint Free World, in which he claims that if you stop pronouncing your negative thoughts, you stop having those kinds of thoughts, and that if everyone did this the world would change completely.

What happened: It took 55 days to get 21 complaint-free days in a row, but I did it. This experiment really does teach you not to complain, and I think everyone should do it once in their lives. But it didn’t create much of an inner change. My negative thoughts were unaffected, I just got more polite about whether to pass them on to others. Complaining can even be a worthwhile form of bonding, as I learned while I was working a painful manual labor job with new friends, and could never join in on the lighthearted griping. Still, it’s better to never complain than to complain freely.

Where I am with it today: Even though the exercise didn’t eliminate internal negativity like the book promised, the experiment left me much more conscious about expressing needless negativity, and I am pretty good at keeping it to myself most of the time. I’m also more patient with others when they’re complaining. This is one experiment I would recommend to almost anybody.

About compound interest

Most people’s financial decisions are driven by what the people around them decide — which, in this culture, typically ranges from thoughtless to completely backwards — and conscious thought about the getting the best deal on happiness doesn’t enter the picture. Would you rather have five all-expenses-paid years off to spend with your family, learn a language or build a business — or drive a big car instead of a small car? It’s shockingly normal for people to choose the latter, because they have no idea that they’re making that choice at all.

...

I am way happier already. In the three months since I’ve been smarter about my spending, I’ve saved three months’ worth of living expenses, which has an immediate stress-reducing effect. I could get laid off or fired and have plenty of time to figure out what to do, so there’s much less day-to-day stress about my job performance, which has actually led to an effortless improvement in job performance. I have a sense of control over my life that I’ve never felt before. These intangible dividends are immediate, and they don’t cost a cent because the money is still mine.

About consumption speed

When I want a thrill, I walk to the corner store without my phone.

The worst hobby

Bad things happen when you combine the self-affirming nature of beliefs with a habit of consuming lots of morally-charged content.

Many people make a daily routine of consuming large quantities of highly partisan content about “what’s going on” in “the” “world.” Enthusiasts of this hobby call it “staying informed,” and insist it isn’t just a personal habit but a civic duty.

This content consists of new beliefs (“news” for short) about what happened today or yesterday, presented with an authoritative tone and little moral ambiguity. They identify clear villains and clear implications. They often give instructions from hand-selected experts on how smart people should think about this.

The other day, on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, a neighbor I hadn’t seen in a long time said hello as she walked past the house. “I hope your family is doing well,” she said, and then looked concerned. “As well as you can do in times like these. You must be even more worried, with kids.“
“Uh, well,” I said, “The kids live in the present, and we try to enjoy the present.”

Inside I was thinking: “This is why liberals are so sad.”

Plenty of books and blogs will tell you how to develop your functional programming skills or teach you algorithms. But if you’re already pretty good at that stuff, you might be better off trying to become a more virtuous human being: more in control of your emotions, more able to hold your nerve in times of crisis, and humbler about the institutional power your technical knowledge grants you.

Some of Stephen Wolfram’s “productivity hacks” to make his days and projects more productive. Daily life, desk environment, outside the office, presentation setup, filesystem organization, Wolfram Notebook systems, databases, personal analytics.

I especially like the treadmill.

Johnny.Decimal is designed to help you find things quickly, with more confidence, and less stress.

Sisyphus eventually found peace with his fate. Instead of seeing his punishment as an eternal burden, he saw it as his life's purpose. Maybe those comparatively small annoyances in our life are worth enjoying. They're part of what makes us human.

Очень неожиданное интервью про любовь и жизнь. Прекрасная дама и стихи.

Есть фееричное по своей глупости выражение: на правду не обижаются. Это верно: обижаются не на правду, а на бестактность, грубость, фамильярность, непрошенное мнение и все то, что сопутствует правде.

Если собеседник обижается на правду, стоит подумать, как лучше ее донести и вообще — стоит ли ее доносить.

Бирман общается с людьми. Как по мне, довольно трушный олдскульный формат подкаста.

Темы иногда мега странные, но мне нравится, что их обсуждают.

Сначала было про культуру общения в Интернете, а стало про культуры общения в разных странах.

Николай общается с людьми, которые что-то где-то достигли. Иногда интересно, но часто душно.

Кристина обсуждает с гостями их провалы в жизни.

This idea is pretty simple, in principle: sometimes we miss a good-enough solution because a not-quite-good-enough solution is already out there and in use.

Если для придания уверенности в себе вам нужен карманный ствол — я рекомендую обратиться к психологу. Это дурной симптом.

Казалось бы, программисты — люди с точным мышлением, а в жизни все наоборот: в голове кисель.

Для меня выход из ситуации простой: трусы или крестик. Либо ты выходишь из разработки со словами: хорош, я в этом не участвую. Либо пишешь качественный код, понимая, что мир огромен, и у тебя нет возможности контролировать, кто и как его использует. Оба варианта честные и снимают все вопросы.

Саша рассказывает про выгорание

Юлия рассказывает про выгорание

Almost all mattresses should not be flipped — instead they should be rotated 180° so the foot of the mattress is now at the head.

Нагавкать на слона и не получить по еблищу — это не свобода, и даже не доблесть; это бретёрство, жалкое позерство, свойственное пижонам и студентам.

Reduce friction in facial upkeep, build a healthy habit, and potentially save thousands on dental bills by chronologically ordering your toiletries.

When I’ve listened the most effectively to people, it’s because I was intensely curious—I was trying to build a detailed, precise understanding of what was going on in their head.

Сегодня публике нужно быть впереди соседа. Увидеть Париж первым — и умереть. Важен не процесс — но атрибутика вокруг.

A collection of one-off actions that improve your life continuously — however marginally.

This site contains writings on the topic of reducing suffering, including the suffering of non-human animals and far-future beings. Most content is by Brian Tomasik, though a few pieces are written by others.

Заметка про асинхронную работу